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Sometimes I let the opinions of others rule my own personal space. In reality, you know, the unseen, I should ask for my Master's advice and just listen to it. But just sometimes, I think, they'll not like that. Or they would like this better. Truth is, so many times I am dissatisfied with my own inaction, it spills over into my perception of what others think. And they're not paying attention, in actuality. Isn't that strange? I try to mold myself to people who aren't even watching. I wonder if what I think they're thinking is true. Or if what I think about them would bring surprise and shock.

And then there is the thought that there's no reality, just our perceptions. Does Yahweh keep the truth from us so that we won't go insane from it? Why are we kept from knowing the future? At times, I just think I can't deal with this outcome or that event. But I have when the time came, and then it's done. All that worry for nothing. And I grew from the trouble, that's His gift. I praise Yahweh for that, at least.

Amy had some choice words to say about friendships as viewed by modern society and Christian churches today. She makes the point that because our culture is oriented toward lust in such a huge way, the mindset of loving one another is viewed only as romance. Now, I've often thought about this. The quest is to develop true, deep friendship and love without letting it change into something it was never meant to be. I know a lot of people that focus entirely on marriage, and view every relationship as to how it will get them closer towards that goal. It's hard to keep from thinking that way sometimes. But putting pressure on people to play a role that they aren't meant to fill can so easily destroy the good between friends.

How to be open when someone needs you, to listen as they share their heart, to feel their hurt and help them with the everyday.

Another point that Amy makes is that being driven by a romantic goal entirely will then put unfair obligations on the person you actually do end up involved with, making them the center of the universe to the exclusion of all others. While I do think that spouses should always have the other's good in mind, I don't think it is healthy to pour all of life into the marriage, discarding friends, relatives and society for "the one." It's not healthy to isolate life around one relationship, whatever that be. Of course, our final hope is Christ, as He is the only one that truly meets our needs, and He wants us to show that quality in our lives by feeling for and deeply loving people.

Fifth Lines

An ever pleasing tradition.

Perhaps, over the next year I will diligently study through these things with you that are a big part of your own faith journey.
I'm the steady 165 I've been for like 3 years, whether I like it or not.
I'd be interested to know what else you grow during the seasons.
Well done.
He said he knew Steve Howe, Leo Kottke, Al DieMieola, Paco Delucia, Ray Charles,and a host of others.
We are just waiting on summer down here - I can't wait!
I think my ambient mood temperature is on the upswing as well.
No more "up all night", rolling stones, bob dylan, beatles, aerosmith, or even the liberal hedonistic kinks.
I should be sending some more pictures pretty soon.
Most people stayed in motorhomes or cabins, but I brought a couple tents.
I helped myself to more than a few gobstoppers, fyi.
I hope that kind of equalizes things.
I associate you with the combination of all things english and the color blue.
I can't remember what all I told you in my last email.
Ah, the injustice!
I'll try and get that CD together next week, but time will tell.
From what I have read men mostly think with the left side of their brain which is the logical sequential side, and women think more with the emotional right side.
I'm glad to hear you've travelled the same path.
I hope to be working more on that also.

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Today, when I took a break from digging in the garden to read the Superhero Journal, there was a post about a unique website. It's called 2 Do Before I Die. People are writing lists of all the crazy, mundane, tiny and big things they want to do in their lives, and telling stories about what they've already done. Two of my favorites are "Do Absolutely Nothing, by Nic" and "Meet Mr. Rogers, by Benjamin." I'll talk about Mr. Rogers on here sometime, that story made all of my childhood flash before my eyes. Anyway, I'm going to start my own list, and share them with you as I go. Here's a few to start.

Fly in a small plane over my house.
Go to a Coldplay concert.
Make someone blush.
Go on a walking tour in England.
Live in Lexington.
Build my physical endurance.
Grow corn.
See a movie outside.
Ride a horse on a beach.
Learn to pray.
Love a tenderhearted man.
Publish my photos in a newspaper or magazine.
Go to the Glastonbury Festival.
Find ever so many ways to be eccentric.
Indulge in my love of Jane Austen.
Learn to really, truly listen.
Get to know the parents of my friends.
Become an archer.
Go to a philosophy lecture.
Work in a library.

I'm not really happy with the things that have been up here recently, so they went in the trash. But now we are left with a void. It's funny how art can imitate life sometimes, meaning my lack of content here reflects a somewhat dry spell in reality. Perhaps the most obvious occurence in this emptiness of enthusiasm is an absence of photography in my days just now. I've yet to figure out if this is a cause or a symptom. Don't think that I want to complain or be depressing, because nothing is seriously wrong. It's just the dreaded low feeling, when even the things that interested me before seem dull and tepid. So, I usually try some diversionary tactics, or delve into the supremely comforting stuff, like old letters, Northanger Abbey and chocolate.

There are plenty of e-mails in the box. Food in the cabinet. Sunshine in the outdoors. People that care. I'm trying to remind myself of that.